Half Way Submerged

Have you ever experienced moments where you felt like you were barely keeping your head above water? Those times when you are fiercely dog pedaling under the surface just to stay afloat? You have to keep moving. You have to keep going because if you don’t you will sink into the oblivion of whatever you’re submerged in (debt, a bad marriage, troubled teenagers, depression, etc.)

Well, that’s not what I’m talking about today. Those times happen for all of us. Hopefully, we have a solid support system to throw us a rope, a lifesaver, or just direct us to shallower waters where we can stand firmer.

Today, I’m writing about this picture. Plants that are growing in water where they are half submerged. I feel like this is the analogy for my life at the moment. I don’t feel overwhelmed. I’m not frantically dog pedaling to stay afloat. I’m rooted. I feel well-watered. Sure, there are times when I get too much sun and parts of me begins to brown (or pinken depending upon your skin hue). This EXPOSURE makes me feel vulnerable and insecure. This dependence upon the place where I’m halfway submerged is uncomfortable. I’d rather have control and be moving (or pedaling) than be rooted in this one place.

On certain days, it is good. I feel productive and am thriving. On others, I sway in the wind a bit more than I’d like. If I was more submerged or had the ability to move in the direction I wanted then I’d feel better. But, no I’m planted. I’m stationary. I cannot move right now.

Some days, I think I’m leaning westward. Others, I lean more North. I have no idea what direction I’m heading, but in this halfway submerged state, some parts have withered and fallen off. They are making room for other parts to grow and mature.

I know there will be a time (probably within the next couple of weeks) when I long to be uprooted and repositioned to wherever the master gardener deems suitable for my next phase. But, today, I choose to relax into the sway and surrender to the beauty of being halfway submerged. Knowing that the stillness under the surface doesn’t mean that work isn’t happening. It just means that the work isn’t produced by my ability, my striving, or my pedaling.