A few weeks ago I did a pretty vulnerable thing. It was bucket list material. I shared something that I’d been sitting on for years! However, I only shared it with a select few people. Let me tell you, even THAT was scary. I handpicked the people I wanted to share with and second-guessed some. After the fact, I added a few others. Still, the anxiety about how my offering would be received and more importantly, what people would think about me persisted. If I’m honest, it still persists.
Overall, the feedback has been incredibly constructive and supportive. But, there have been some awkward moments and difficult conversations. This was expected, yet still uncomfortable. You see, I’ve made the mistake of putting someone in a certain category and then being shocked when they disabuse me of that notion. The truth is, none of us want to unveil the curtain of our minds and invite others into that space. Fear of judgment, ostracization, offense, and damaging credibility is REAL and it hinders most of us from being our authentic self.
The ability to discern who to be vulnerable with, how much to share and when to share it is something I desire. There is a reason why this post is called “practicing vulnerability”. I believe it is a lifelong pursuit; much like seeking shalom. In fact, true shalom stems from a person feeling safe to be his/her most authentic self. My hope is that no matter the outcome, I continue to peel the layers back and show up. This is me, flawed, human, called, and free.